Scroggins Crosswired Local News - August 1999

Breaking News Almost as Weird as Reality

Disclaimer

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DATE

HEADLINE (click the date for news story you want to see)

August 31, 1999

Improving Georgia SAT scores like moving a glacier uphill

August 30, 1999

Hurricane Ellis threatens to swamp unification

August 27, 1999

 Democrats slither into Macon to praise own, trash GOP

August 26, 1999

Ellis, Justice propose city-county merger when hell freezes over

August 25, 1999

 Publix recalls ground beef due to E. grisamore

August 24, 1999

CDC snuffs out smoking, fatty foods and stupid behavior are next

August 23, 1999

Criminals commit crimes to avoid Georgia heat

August 20, 1999

Ellis' ancestry jeopardizes his party standing

August 19, 1999

McDonald's: PETA loves me, and loves me not

August 18, 1999

Richardson waffles on nonpartisan elections, elevates local ozone levels, aridity and stroke risk

August 17, 1999

Superintendent forum robs Unification Commission of public input

August 16, 1999

NationsBank one more domino in worldwide banking empire

August 13, 1999

Allen seeks world record for party-switching

August 12, 1999

Houston inmate continues hunger strike; pool grows to $2,500

August 11, 1999

Cracker Barrell chain promotes litracy for the chillen

August 10, 1999

Cleland nonchalant about nude spread in Esquire

August 9, 1999

Gunman has Allison Park residents ducking for cover and crying fowl

August 6, 1999

Houston officials procrastinated due to misunderstanding

August 5, 1999

Struggle over services heats up in Houston

August 4, 1999

Heat death toll now exceeds 2500

August 3, 1999

Possible UGA toxic spill explains hedges and ugliness of mascot

August 2, 1999

MWA admits stench is not Riverwood plant

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Disclaimer: The accounts, quotes and stories on this page are wholly fictitious and intended as satire and humor. Although real names may be used and all good humor has an element of truth, this stuff ain't real. If you didn't already know these stories were bogus, then you're not too bright. --Steve Scroggins

Write Your Own Macon News Story

These parodies are frequently featured on the NewsTalk940 WMAC morning show with Kenny & Charles.

Visit the AM940 Morning Show web site

To read the "real" news that inspires these stories, read The Macon Telegraph online.

See Ed Grisamore's 9/29/99 column on these parodies.

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